Self-love. Such a hot topic these days and for good reason.
It’s so important that we love ourselves and encourage others to do so as well.
In a world that loves to point out our flaws and remind us of all the ways that we aren’t good enough, it takes a great deal of self-awareness to feel grounded, aligned, and confident.
A few months ago, I asked 30+ women to share what they love most about themselves on the Wholehearted Woman Instagram page.
Why? Because I’m sure if I asked the question, “What don’t you love about yourself?”, a lot of us can instantly list off 20 things that we don’t love.
We spend so much time and energy on all the things we think we’re bad at. We stop before we ever start because we think it’s all been done before, that other people are so much further ahead of us, and that we’ll never catch up.
Don't fall into the comparison trap.
Life isn’t a competition or a race; I know that's what many of us have been taught to believe, but it's not true.
It’s about you enjoying your life, and how can you enjoy life when you spend all your time hating yourself?
Spoiler alert: You can’t, and I’m speaking from tons of experience here.
Because as much as I love myself and as much as I love my ability to be open and vulnerable (and shamelessly cry), I also equally hate myself just as much. And you cannot hate yourself into loving yourself, no matter how hard you try.
And even though I’m nowhere where I’d like to be in terms of loving myself and others, it doesn’t mean I can’t be a self-love advocate. It doesn’t mean I can’t inspire or encourage others to love themselves more. It doesn’t mean that I can’t share my own journey along the way until I get “there”.
It took me a long time to learn that lesson.
I always thought that you had to be 100% in love and in tune with yourself before you could go around talking about self-love, but what if you loved yourself now?
What if you kept loving bits and pieces of yourself until you loved the whole thing?
When we share the love we have for others, we create and hold the space for others to love themselves too.
I don’t know about you, but there were more than a few times in my life where people thought you were conceited or vain if you said you loved yourself. And I think that has caused a lot of fear in people - to openly say they love themselves, because they don’t want to seem “full of themselves”.
I love that social media has changed the game. I love that we can share our selfies and share parts of our days and life on Instagram stories. I love that we can have authentic conversations and share our struggles.
What do you love about yourself?
Like this blog title suggests, shout it from the rooftops.
Recently, I took Denise Duffield-Thomas’s Sacred Money Archetypes Quiz. My top 3 archetypes were the accumulator, connector, and ruler. Pretty spot on.
When Denise went over the 8 different archetypes in one of her videos, she went on to explain that the connector values relationships and people.
She also said something in her video that struck a chord with me:
“Women right now really need to step up around money and you can be one of those people who contributes to that conversation and can be a really great role model in your world.”
What I love most about myself is my ability to be authentic.
To show up in the world as I am, because I’ve spent enough of my time pretending. And I have to be honest: It’s really, really hard to be authentic and real, which is also why I think it’s so important.
(Related: 12 Ways We Can Support Other Women)
We need to create that space to be authentic. To show up as you are, before you’re ready. To make mistakes along the way and to try again.
I love that I’m willing to share my journey along the way, even if it isn’t perfect or the ideal situation someone wants to be in. And I think that’s what a lot of people are craving right: permission to be real.
But I can’t give you that permission. Only you can do that for yourself.
So I hope that you start giving yourself more permission to show up, to say “I love you” to yourself, to share with you love about yourself with others, to take more selfies, and to be courageously brave enough to shout it from the rooftops.
If you want to dive deeper into self-love and acceptance, I highly recommend reading these books (some of my all-time favorites!):
- Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
- Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton
- The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte
- Rising Strong by Brené Brown
Share with me in the comments below: What do you love most about yourself?
** This post was written a few months ago and has been sitting in my queue.