Growing up, I was taught that you were either the best or nothing at all… which now thinking about it, sounds kind of harsh.
Tell me if this sounds like you…
- Constantly stressed out, overwhelmed, and on the verge of tears.
- Secretly annoyed when you see someone “who seems to have everything”.
- Feeling like you’re not good enough and everything you do isn’t good enough.
- Want to give up on life at least once a week.
Because that was me too.
And sometimes? That’s still me, if I’m being honest. (It’s gotten a lot better tho.)
Many of us were taught that we had to be better.
Better than the next person. That only a select few could succeed.
I mean… that’s basically what college and finding employment after college is.
You apply to your dream college / university hoping you get in, and if you don’t, you start wondering if there’s something wrong with you.
You start to wonder if you’re good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, and the list goes on.
Most people compare themselves to others throughout their whole lives. It’s the rat race.
College, career, home, cars, kids, # of Instagram followers, social life, etc.
Sometimes, it’s you trying to keep up (or create) an image. Because what you post on Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook isn’t what your life actually looks like -- but this picture you created of yourself that you want other people to see and believe.
It’s tiring, right?
And until you say to yourself, enough is enough, you continue running in this rat race where we all treat our lives like it’s a competition we have to win.
What’s the trophy? Overwhelm? Anxiety? Therapy sessions? Lack of self-confidence?
So how do we stop? How do we stop comparing ourselves to other people so we can start living our lives… the way we actually want to?
Today, I’m going to share with you 3 things that helped me stop treating my life like a competition.
1. Someone else’s success doesn’t take away from yours.
The truth is we can all be successful.
- You can love someone else’s website without hating your own.
- You can admire someone else’s beauty without questioning your own.
- You can give someone else a compliment and give yourself one too.
It doesn’t have to be one or the other. It doesn’t have to be her or you. It can be all of us, together.
It may not feel like it when we’ve been taught our whole lives otherwise, but her success helps you too.
When you know there’s room at the table for you, you invite someone else to the table too. Because you know life isn’t a competition.
And the truth is… if you treat life like a competition, it gets pretty lonely not the mention super exhausting.
So the next time someone wants to celebrate their win (big or small), celebrate with them.
When you say congratulations, actually mean it.
2. It’s okay to go at your own pace, whatever that may be.
You’re not doing yourself a favor when you compare your journey with someone else’s.
Because you are an entirely different person. Your background, personality, past, interests, goals, strengths and weaknesses, etc.
We often compare our beginnings to someone else’s middle.
The truth is that we don’t always see the whole picture.
We don’t see the 7 years they spent working on their craft. We don’t see their meltdowns and bad moments. Sometimes, we don’t get to see them as a whole person.
Life isn’t not one-dimensional, and you are not a one-dimensional person.
Guess what? Neither are they.
They are on their own journey, and you are on yours.
And your paths may cross, but they don’t have to compete.
Whatever pace you’re going at is a good one -- and if you don’t like it, remember that it’s up to you to change it.
3. Be clear on what it is YOU want for your own life.
The truth is that I don’t want to build an empire.
But who knows? Maybe that will change one day.
What I want and am working towards is building a sustainable life for myself. To build multiple streams of revenue, instead of just depending on one. To build a personal brand where I can help and inspire others to do so as well.
To speak their truth and share their stories.
To be their own person, in their own way.
To do what works for them.
you don’t have to live life the way everyone else is living it, just because someone else told you so.
Often, people leave the 9 to 5 world only to be told how they “should be living” their entrepreneurial life.
And that’s where the anxiety and impatience often comes in.
We think we’re not growing fast enough or we’re not doing enough which then translates into “I’m not enough”.
So my solution is this: Know who you are and know that’s enough.
You do not have to be someone else, and you do not have to “prove your life” to other people.
Choose to be your own person, and stop treating your life like it’s a competition.
Hi there! I'm Molly, the founder of Wholehearted Woman. I help women show up online in a way that looks good and feels good too.
Translation: I help you with branding, social media, design, and personal growth. I offer both done-for you services and strategy sessions. Click here to learn more.
I believe in the power of sharing your story, being vulnerable, and not treating life like a competition. Be the voice you needed to hear when you were younger.