Do you often struggle with feeling disappointed in yourself?
I know I did at one time. Whatever I did, it never felt good enough.
In community college, I tried to take 6 classes and handle a part-time job once.
Let's just say that did not end up well. I actually wanted to take a class on learning how to bake your own bread too but my friend talked me out of it and I'm so glad she did.
The point is by the end of the semester, I was feeling really disappointed in myself ...which as you know, only makes a person feel more inadequate and down in the dumps.
But what I learned was ... it's not always about the situation, it's about why we got ourselves into that situation in the first place, how we choose to handle it (our mindset and attitude), and what happened afterwards.
Because disappointment often leads to other feelings like stress, anxiety, guilt, etc., and then nothing gets solved.
How to stop feeling disappointed and beat yourself up over it:
1. Know that you are enough.
If you have a tendency to overcommit because you want to do all the things, you're essentially setting yourself up for disappointment.
Because whether we'd like to admit it or not, it's not possible to do all the things all at once.
Trust me, I've tried. More than once. Not only did I feel disappointed afterwards, but I also felt burnt out and ready to give up completely.
Recently, I've tried a new approach: Done over perfect.
Let what you do each day be enough. Because beating yourself up day after day isn't going to help you feel any better.
2. Give yourself credit and be proud of yourself.
It's okay to feel disappointment from time to time, but if you let it sit and fester, it's bound to manifest into something else. Something much bigger and harder to handle.
Instead, learn to be your own cheerleader. Cheer yourself on, and keep going.
Don't let yourself stay down. Get up after you fall, and keep going.
Whatever happens (or doesn't happen), be proud of yourself.
For trying. For showing up. For doing.
Because the truth is life is hard, so stop beating yourself up over things that have already happened. Channel that energy into coming up with a solution and how you can do better next time.
3. Show up and do your best work.
Why do we expect the moon and back of ourselves?
Probably because we were taught to whether it was our grades, our appearances, our career choices, etc.
Here's the good news: You don't have to be perfect.
Not to mention, aiming for perfect often leads to procrastination.
If you show up and just it your all, then you're doing all you can.
Like I said earlier, don't overcommit yourself.
One of the best ways to not feel disappointed in yourself is prevention, so if you don't set unrealistic expectations and overcommit, you won't feel disappointed in yourself.
4. Don't live in fear.
When we live in fear of not being able to meet our own unrealistically high expectations, there is no room for the good things in life like spending quality time with others (or even with yourself) or room to be happy and abundance.
Instead, it feels suffocating, lonely, and empty.
When you beat yourself up over and over again, you start to feel disappointed in yourself and your life when anything really happening.
After a while, it starts to feel like "normal life" as if it were suppose to feel this way.
But it's not normal and it doesn't have to feel this way.
There is nothing to be afraid of. Whenever you start to feel the fear of failure, ask yourself: "What is the worst that can happen, and why does that scare me so much?"
5. Change your attitude and perspective.
"Failing" doesn't make you a failure.
Life isn't as bad (or serious) as our minds make it out to be.
So you set out to do something and you didn't accomplish it. So what?
So you try again and again until a. you accomplish it, b. you realize that you need to change something, or c. you realize that it's not even something you want to do.
Why do we spend so much time and energy feeling disappoint and beating ourselves up over things that have already happened?
Why not channel that energy into making the future better for ourselves?
And when all else fails, gratitude helps with putting things into perspective.
At the end of the day, it's not the end of the world.
The situation isn't that bad. I know that in the moment, it may feel really bad.
But trust me, it's not that bad and there's no reason for you to beat yourself up.
Especially if you're doing the best you can and showing up every day.
I'd love to hear from you.
What do you do when you feel disappointed in yourself? Do you beat yourself up over it?