This year, I’ve really struggled with calling myself an entrepreneur.
Because if I’m being honest, I often didn't feel like one.
Am I solving anyone’s problem? Am I even solving my own, or am I just creating more problems for myself?
And what I realized recently is that while I created a community specifically for honest conversations, I’ve come to really dislike talking about the messy, scary, and vulnerable parts of life. Like talking about your emotions, because I’ve heard so many successful people say, “Take your emotion out of it.”
And I did. But here’s the thing: I don’t know how to compartmentalize my emotions.
If I’m going to take my emotions out of it - in the sense that I’m not going to let my fears and doubts stop me from taking the action that I need to take, then I end up taking the emotions out of my life altogether.
Does anyone else struggle with this, or is it just me?
So as I started to take more and more action, I started to take my emotion out of it more and more.
And so when I found myself struggling with my mental state again, I just wanted to push through it by doing more. By adding more onto my to do list. To literally try to push out the feelings with tasks.
It honestly got to a point where I struggled with wanting to be open about what I was going through and so I continued pretending that everything was okay. That I was okay.
After all, I was taking action, right? And in business, you have to show up, right?
Because if you don’t show up for your own business, then nothing gets done.
Nothing moves forward. Nothing happens.
But I don’t want to create a life or a persona where everything is fine and dandy all the time.
There’s enough of that happening already without my help.
I want to be honest about the things that are happening in real time, while they’re happening. Not after they’ve happened.
Because we all go through different seasons of life.
Some seasons of life flow more easily, where other seasons feel like … well, they feel kinda horrible.
I’m tired of pretending. I’ve been pretending my whole life.
Pretending that everything was okay when I was struggling with depression and anxiety attacks.
Pretending that people’s comments about my body didn’t hurt me when I was younger.
Pretending in one way or another so maybe people will like me more.
It gets really tiring after a while.
I’ve learned that the people who love you for you will love you anyway, even if you aren’t doing so well in your business.
Even on your really bad days and even worse moments.
Hopefully, you have those people in your life. The ones who remind you of how amazing you are in your darkest moments, because you are amazing and you can do this.
I’m only in my first year of entrepreneurship, and it’s been a pretty bumpy and often scary ride at times. But I’m here and I’m not giving up.
I understand what it’s like to want to put on a brave face.
Like, I finally get it.
I get why being vulnerable and talking about the messy and “ugly” parts of life is so freakin’ terrifying, but sometimes you gotta let your guard down and let people in.
You have to open up, so you can let the love and light come in.
You have to give yourself permission to do that, for your own soul and sanity’s sake.
Being an entrepreneur is hard, but you don’t have to do it alone and you’re allowed to have bad days. But you keep showing up and keep going. Take breaks when you need to. Cry when you need to. Eat ice cream sandwiches when you need to.
And then keep showing up.
P.S. If you resonated with this post, I think you're really going to love what my friend, Lauren Fronteria over at The Real Female Entrepreneur, is doing with her podcast and YouTube channel.
Photo Source: Tanja Heffner