Patience is a lesson I had to learn over and over again this year, and it wasn't easy. Anyone who knows me can tell you I'm not a very patient person, especially when it comes to being patient with myself and my dreams.
Yes, I tend to obsess over things and I wonder why it isn't "happening faster" because that's the name of the game, right?
Everyone wants to get "there" sooner, but is there a "there"? Is there really a destination or end point?
What are we chasing after, and why are we always in competitive mode?
Because that's how we were conditioned to be.
Conditioned to compete with each other, conditioned to constantly want more conditioned to always keep an eye on what other people are doing and how they're doing. Conditioned to think that if someone else is successful - that it somehow means we can't be too (this is a lie, by the way).
We can all be successful.
(Related: 12 Ways We Can Support Other Women)
This year, I learned why most people quit within their first year. I also learned why so many people never even start.
The journey is long and sometimes it can also feel terrifying, uncertain, and lonely. And that's the real truth.
I wish someone could have told me all of those things when I started, but I'm also glad I learned it myself along the way.
Do not go off comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides.
You only get to see the parts of their lives that they show you, but you see all the parts of your own life. Including all the messy and not-so-pretty ones.
(Related: Letting Go Of Being Good So You Can Be Free)
3 Reminders While You're Learning To Be More Patient with Yourself and Your Dreams
1. You’re in the land of learning.
Fun fact: You do not start off knowing everything.
No one is an overnight success even if society and people who run certain FB ads want to paint it that way.
Please, for the sake for your own sanity, do not think that there is something wrong with you because you haven't made 6 figures in 6 weeks or months or whatever they're advertising nowadays. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not stupid, you are not incapable or inadequate, and you do not need to judge yourself every night until you cry. (Yes, I've been there. Several times.)
Give yourself time to be a beginner, to make mistakes, to find things out, to learn what you like and don't like. Give yourself time to experiment and have fun with it. Seriously, it does not have to be as stressful and overwhelming as some of us make it out to be.
2. You’re in the land of preparation.
I once read that success is when preparation meets opportunity, and that's so true.
Because even if they're met with the right opportunity (i.e. when "luck" happens / the timing is right), you have to be prepared - mentally, physically, and spiritually.
It's like wanting to be an influencer and work with brands - you have to prepare yourself for that. You have to put in the work first, before you reap any kind of rewards. You have to plant the seeds you want to water and grow. It doesn't just magically happen because you want it to happen.
And guess what? You don't have to plant all the seeds right now. You don't have to set your whole garden up in one day.
Like anything else, it takes time right? So be patient and kind with yourself. You'll get there.
3. Everything you're doing right now matters and adds up over time.
What you choose to do (or don't do) today determines what you do (or can't do) tomorrow.
You hear it over and over again, because it's true: Consistency matters. Showing up every day matters, and that's what separates people apart.
That's how you know if you're going to make your dreams come true: if you choose to show up for them even when they're scary, even when you think feel like it, even when you fall down.
Sometimes (and I know I tend to do this a lot), we are so attached to the day to day, but lean back and look at the big picture once in a while. See how far you've come and be proud of yourself. Take yourself out on a little day. Treat yourself to some ice cream or a massage.
If you're showing up and doing the work, you're going to grow. If you're making mistakes and hearing rejections, you are growing.
We think that everything should just happen for us immediately, but it doesn't work like that.
Write a list of people down whom you think are successfully and thriving in their craft. How long have they been doing it for? How many times did they make a mistake? How many times were they rejected by others? How long did it take for anyone to care or even notice them? Look up interviews they've been in and listen more about their story.
Society wants us to think there's a magic pill or shortcut and that if you aren't successful overnight then there must be something wrong with you (which is complete bs, btw).
Do not give up on your dreams or yourself so easily. You are worth it. You are so worth it, and it might take longer than you thought it would. And that's okay. Keep going, keep growing, and keep learning.
You got this, friend. I believe in you.