One common theme I hear and see a lot whenever the topic of social media comes up (and I’ve definitely made this comment myself) is how noisy it can all feel. Like you’re fighting and crawling your way through so hopefully someone hears you and feeling like you have to spend hours and hours on social media every day.
So I’m an introvert, which means being around a lot of people at once isn’t really my thing. Having a heartfelt conversation with someone one-on-one is more my cup of tea.
This year involved a lot of unplugging, turning off the notifications, and detaching myself from social media.
Because it’s so, so easy to fall into the rabbit hole.
- Of comparison.
- Of imposter syndrome.
- Of “Am I good enough?”
- Of finding yourself still scrolling two hours later.
- Of feeling like you’re behind - you’re not sure on what, but something.
Well, I have some good news for you.
You can still find that deeper connection that your heart is craving and searching for even in a sea of voices.
Yes, even if you’re an introvert.
Because here’s the thing: There are so many introverts in this world, and there are so many extroverts in this world. (P.S. Neither one is better than the other.)
6 Tips For Making Friends Online As An Introvert:
1. Be the one to reach out.
Have you been “following” someone online for a while? Do you enjoy seeing them on your Instagram feed? Do you like what they post in their newsletters?
Comment on their blog posts. Send them a DM on Instagram or better yet - write them an email and ask them a question. Provide an “in” for a conversation. The easier you make it for others, the better your response rate will be.
2. Find out who they’re talking to.
If you’re having trouble finding people to connect with, I’m willing to bet that the people they like to follow are people you would like to follow and be friends with too. Instagram makes this very easy to do.
Trust me, there is someone out there for everyone. And whenever you’re looking for, there’s someone out there looking for the same thing. So for me, I really love connecting with people who love going behind the surface level - one of my friends says it’s like being a mermaid (which I think is absolutely beautiful) and wanting to dive deeper.
3. Ask if they want to do a coffee date.
These are my favorite ways to getting to know people. I’ve done in-person coffee dates and virtual Skype dates, but one-on-one conversations are absolutely my favorite.
And yes, they can be totally scary at first especially if you’ve never done one before. But honestly, if they didn’t want to talk to you, they wouldn’t have said yes, so relax and have fun with it.
(Related: 12 Ways We Can Support Other Women)
4. Be yourself and show up.
This one seems obvious and self-explanatory, but then again, how many times have you tried to do something that wasn’t exactly you only to please others? I think we’ve all done this.
People can sense inauthenticity from far away, and the thing is people want to get to know you. Who you are. Share your story with others, because I’m willing to bet it will connect with someone out there and everyone appreciates an honest conversation.
Also, the second part: showing up. If you want people to know you exist, you have to show up. Maybe that means showing up on your blog, or Instagram, or Twitter. It doesn’t mean you have to be everywhere all the time or do all the things, but be somewhere consistently.
5. Ask yourself what you’re looking for and what matters to you.
This probably should’ve been at the top of the list, but better late than never, right?
So, you want to have a good understanding of who you are and what you’re looking for. Who are you looking to connect with? What are your core values?
We’re the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so what qualities do you like in yourself or you would like to see in yourself. Who we connect with online is just as important as who we connect and spend time with offline. Whether someone has a positive or negative outlook on life, that’s going to rub off on you in the long run.
6. Remember it’s quality over quantity.
So it’s not about how many friends or acquittances you have, but how you feel about each one. What’s the relationship like? If you had a pressing issue or problem, would you feel comfortable reaching out to them for help?
At the end of the day, a close-knit of friends that you really trust, love, and appreciate is way better than a ton of friends you know barely anything about.
Sometimes, it can feel impossible to find any real connection online. It seems like everyone is ready to sell you something at any moment, but trust me, it is so possible to find real, deep, and authentic connection online.
Your people are out there, but it’s kind of up to you to find them. Yes, they might find you, but that’s if you show up consistently and let them know you’re open to connecting with others.
Good luck out there, friend.
I know you can do it. I believe in you, always.
P.S. here's an idea.
If you’re looking for genuine connection and conversations, comment down below and write a little bio about yourself and where other people can find you online. :)