I know, know.
I do it all the time, too. I compare my journey to others. I want to see how I’m doing, if I’m on the right track, if I’m doing the right things, etc.
But it’s a horrible way to live your life and here’s why: You’re going to end up completely miserable and constantly feel inadequate. Like you’re not enough when you are so enough.
The truth is that there’s always going to be someone ahead of us and someone behind of us, but that still doesn’t mean life has to be this big competition. That doesn’t mean you have to spend your days and nights away trying to “get ahead”, because if you’re doing that, you’re going to constantly want more and more.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve never fulfilled before comparing my journey to others. Didn’t matter if I was behind or ahead, it never felt like enough until I finally decided that I was enough and so was everyone else. And that life was not and should not be a race.
5 Common Reasons Why We Constantly Feel The Need To Compare Ourselves To Others -
1. We’ve been taught that success looks a certain way.
Since we were little, we went taught that going to school, getting a degree, getting a job, marrying someone, buying a home, having kids, etc. is what success looks like. But what if that’s not your version of success? Or what if it is?
The good news is that we get to define our own definition of success, but the not so good news is that a lot of struggle to do that due to a lack of self-worth and confidence.
But once you stop comparing your journey to others, you’ll start to realize that there was never anything wrong with your idea of success or the journey you’re on to begin with.
You’re exactly where you need to be, and you’re doing such a great job at it.
2. We don’t feel confident in ourselves and the path we’ve chosen.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt
So when we don’t feel confident in ourselves, we have a tendency to want to compare ourselves to others. Maybe because we want to feel behind or maybe because we want to know we’re not completely messing up our lives.
But have you ever truly asked yourself what you want? What it is that you need?
Not what others have told you to want, but what you want.
It’s time to start feeling more confident in yourself and believing in the path you’ve chosen for yourself, because until you do, you’re going to continue feeling like there’s something missing or something else you should be doing and that someone else has the answer.
I truly believe that our intuition can help us lead the way and guide us to where we need to go.
3. We constantly feel like we’re behind and that others know something we don’t.
Overnight success is not a real thing.
I know I’ve struggled with this a lot myself. Because I can post a photo on Instagram and receive about 100 likes in the next hour of posting, my mind has become accustomed to instant gratification. So when something doesn’t happen as fast as we thought it would, instead of giving ourselves more time, we decide right away that things aren’t working out. That maybe the problem is us. Or maybe it just doesn’t work.
And when we feel like we’re behind or lacking, it’s not going to bring us any closer to a state of abundant or flow. So the first step is to stop the comparison game, because it’s not bringing you any closer to your goals. Stay in your own lane, and trust yourself.
There is no big secret or magic pill that’s going to solve everything for you. Results take time and it’s not going to show up overnight.
4. We haven’t put things in perspective and stepped back to take a look at the whole picture.
It can be easy to get lost in the day to day. I would know; I’ve gotten lost in the day to day a few times myself. But every time I remember to take a step back to look at the bigger picture, I feel confident that things are coming together because I see things coming together.
I love GaryVee’s concept of macro patient and micro speed. You work fast and show up everyday, but you’re patient with yourself on the overall goal and vision, because the truth is that it’s going to take time.
And comparing yourself to others isn’t going to make the time go faster or make you anymore efficient. If anything else, it’s going to make you less efficient and more miserable.
5. We don’t practice enough gratitude and lack appreciation.
If we’re constantly comparing ourselves to others, it’s hard to feel grateful because we always feel like we need more. But what if what you have right now is enough? What if who you were right now is enough? Because you are enough and you already do have enough.
You can work for what you want while being grateful for what you already have.
Because life is working for us and not against us. But if we constantly feel like life is working against us, that’s what we’re going to attract more of.
Who you are is enough. You don’t need to be more like everyone else; you just need to be more of yourself.
At the end of the day, only we can decide how our life is going.
Just because someone else doesn’t think your life is going well doesn’t mean it’s actually going well. And just because we think someone else’s life is going well doesn’t mean it’s actually going well.
You know what you want in your life and what’s important to you. What may be important to someone else do not have to be the same things that are important to you.
So live your own life and not someone else’s.
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