Think about how many times you've wanted to scream at your fear to shut up and go away. How about all those times you've wished that fear would just get out of your way so you could finally start doing that thing you've been resisting for far too long.
You've imagined that feeling of finally finding the secret life hack to conquering fear once and for all.
Because, hey, it's a sneaky little gremlin that infiltrates your life at the most inconvenient times.
If only you could rid yourself of fear, then maybe you'd finally feel free...
Except, that it won't. That's just a pipe dream that keeps you in the state of overwhelm and fear, because while you're wishing about mustering up the courage and eliminating all that negative inner chatter for good, your energy could actually be spent taking courageous action.
Trust me, I've been there - but I've found ways that have helped me transform my fear, empowering me to live with clarity, confidence, and courage in a way that I didn't know I could.
Let's talk about the three biggest shifts that will help you step into your most courageous self.
1. Make Peace with Fear
Fear isn't the problem - it's our relationship with it that is. Fear is a completely and totally normal human reaction. It's not something to be hated, to try and 'rid' yourself of, and your fear doesn't need to be told to just screw right off.
It's how we view fear that keeps tripping us up. There is no circumstance that I would to tell you that you should learn to love the feeling of fear, because it's downright uncomfortable. It stirs up a lot of inner turmoil, and it will call upon you to expand your entire being. Fear is the epitome of growing pain.
No wonder we want to run away from it, ignore it, and find every way possible so that we don't actually have to face our fear - which keeps us from taking risks, chasing our dreams, and showing up fully as our true selves.
(I mean, can you not think of an instance that you've presented a water-downed version of yourself? Where maybe you didn't speak up, even though you had something to say? Avoided a social gathering because you didn't want to feel awkward? Or maybe you didn't do that thing you wanted to because who do you think you are to even try, right? ... Textbook fear, right there. I've totally been there.)
Instead of hating fear, what if you used that energy to recognize, "Oh hey! That's just Roberta (yep - give your fear a name! This just happens to be the first that sprang to my mind!), but it's all good. I can handle this."
At the end of the day, your fear, often times, is a guide post that you're growing and expanding. It's a good thing.
2. Adopt a curiosity mindset
One of my all-time favourite ways to move through fear and uncertainty is to become intensely curious. What that looks like for me is unhooking myself from the story that I'm telling myself (that I'm not good enough, that I'm doomed to fail...) and instead, immerse myself in the possibility of it all with an open heart and no judgment.
"Am I really not good enough? How do I know I won't succeed? How do I know I can't do that? Is it really true? Where is the proof? Would I speak to a friend (or anyone) this way?"
And the biggie: "What would change in my life if I let go of this limiting belief?"
Look past the surface level thinking and plunge into the depths of what's really going on.
3. Take Inspired Action
You are more powerful than you have ever given yourself credit for. Knowing and understanding your power will empower you to show up in your life with a new-found confidence and courage that you didn't realize you were capable of. The awareness is the catalyst; you get to choose the mindset the runs your life: it's either based off fear or love. Separating yourself from the fear allows you to rise above it so you can take inspired action.
When you start making decisions, setting goals, and crushing your to-do list like a boss from a place that's fueled by what's aligned with your soul, that's inspired action.
When you stop doing things because you feel like you "should" but don't really want to, quit going-going-going until you burn-out, and start setting healthy boundaries - for yourself and in your relationships, that's inspired action.
When you wake up one morning, and realizing that all those tiny, baby steps that were made from a place of alignment, you'll know that it was never fear that got in the way of your courage.
It was you that had to get out of the way of fear.
Allie is a life coach, Reiki healer, and writer on a mission to spread a little light, connect on a deeper level, and empower women to feel the way they want to feel, which is, damn good. Allie takes a heart-centered approach towards busting through fear & resistance and embracing all of who we are - not just the pretty parts. She weaves in clarity and intention with a whole lotta love and unwavering passion, so we can all live richer, fuller lives that we truly desire.